Is it because I queefed?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
What drink are we having for lunch?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
