before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I need water and some morals
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
