He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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