Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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