Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
