Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
