I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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