this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize
