My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
