Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
