I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
The feeling are messing with the penis
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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