After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
