her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
