just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
