On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
