omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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