im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
