That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
