she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i think i scared a bird with my dick
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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