Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Is her dick bigger than yours?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
