Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Randomize
