Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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