The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
