i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
