There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
well you can't waste a boner
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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