Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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