I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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