I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
