It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
