you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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