You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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