I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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