1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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