Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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