Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Randomize
