Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
