ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
