I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
