I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
zippers are such a cool invention
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
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