If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
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