He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
