Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
