Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
