kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
