You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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