how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
