The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
