I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Ladies don't puke and tell
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
