did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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