We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
