i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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