loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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