I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
