you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
